05/01/09 It's not supposed to be May yet...

Life is going by too quickly. I should shoot it.

I've got stuff to do, the stuff I do get around to is either taken for granted or disregarded altogether, and I feel like sticking my fist through a wall. I won't, because that would be bad. But I want to. I need to meditate. I haven't done it in weeks. And yet, the little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that the world doesn't deserve to see me happy. It should know that I don't like it. And then, right on cue, there's that happy, little, still-small voice that pops up and reminds me that I should always be happy and that all this is beneficial in the long run. Yeah, it's meaningless to have the ability to reign in your emotions if you don't choose to, but I've almost been enjoying being mad at life. There /are/ a couple valid reasons for me feeling a little irritated. Oh well, fine. I'll meditate, I'll probably even light the strawberry candle. I'll be... -disgusted tone- happy. But this had better mean something!

-comes back ten minutes later-

Dang, I've been putting that off too long. So yeah, things could be better, but I'll be fine. And hey, I'm done with all of my classes except for two, but one of them is having technical difficulties and the other is PE which is the easiest thing ever and you have to do everyday, anyway.

Man, I love strawberries. Well, I'd best get on. Maybe I'll write another letter to Andrew today. Oh yeah... Some things that are hecka old news but I may haven't mentioned. Like, at all. Um, I don't think I talked about getting a learner's permit. (It was all the way back in December, but I really do forget about these things.) I'm fairly certain I talked about Andrew entering the MTC. I should have, at least. The house has been so quiet, how could I forget?

Yeah, generic life changes. Ruth and Tom are moving. It's really sad, but their new house is really cool. (although I did mention that it might be a good thing that Andrew isn't here, because there are /many/ places that he would have liked to climb onto that might not be meant for climbing.)

Yep. Cheerio and all that. I'll go fry my brain with frustration at the computer's crashing tendency, probably have to meditate a couple more times, but for the moment, I feel an odd form of happiness, so we'll try to keep that around. ^^ See ya!